


That Damnable Facade

by Omoni



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-21
Updated: 2010-11-17
Packaged: 2017-10-12 19:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omoni/pseuds/Omoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the years progress, changes within the Fire Nation occur, setting things up for what could be so much more. Set five years post-series and contains spoilers. Implied Zuko/Toph with some Zuko/Mai mentioned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Familiar Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Writer's Note: This is my first real attempt at Zuko/Toph, written as a request for Zephyras13, so it is a little stumbly and probably could be better...but it's a first, at least. Of course there's a bit of Maiko in it, but I wanted this to have a plausible angle, and I just couldn't see Mai and Zuko suddenly breaking up shortly after the finale. So, yeah, I gave them a few years, and I gave Mai a good reason for leaving, in my opinion, which doesn't break with canon. So, as a result, this fic. Uh, enjoy?

It wasn't as if finding Toph in the Fire Nation was a huge surprise,. Everyone knew how much she loved it there; it was the place with the most adventure and freedom, a place she was, even after so many years, still exploring. It was also the place that, she admitted, she had done the most growing-up, and as a result she would always have a soft spot for the place.

It also didn't hurt that, over the years, her friendship with Iroh had gotten stronger and stronger. They were kindred spirits, really, almost like foils to eachother without losing a sense of camaraderie that they had gained all of those years ago. She would spend hours in his teashop, in the apartment above, sitting across from Iroh and just _listening_ to his stories. Thus it was no surprise when, once Zuko asked Iroh to assist him for a while with his new duties, that Toph also followed.

Despite their shaky start, Toph had to admit that she had always liked Zuko. From the moment she felt his strange presence through the earth below her feet, she was intrigued by him - he seemed so cautious, so unsure, and yet so desperate to prove himself.

It was never too hard to smuggle herself into the Palace, either. All she had to do was dress as fancy as possible and drop her name, and she was in. She kept up her appearance until the doors shut and she was alone with him, and then she just let it all out and was herself.

The first time she had shown up to the Palace in aristocratic gear had seriously traumatised Zuko. He thought he was staring at a complete stranger, so unlike the crass and dirty tomboy he had known. She was all dressed up and looking like a noble, and when she spoke, it was with the same clipped tones and lyrical words that he had been _raised_ with. It was like being in some kind of play about alternate realities.

But then, once they were alone, she fluffed out her bangs, stuck a finger up her nose, and said in her normal voice, "So, Fire Lord Fancypants, how's the wife? Getting your mack on?"

Which had, back then, made him wince. It was early in his marriage with Mai, one that, for a while, seemed to be working just fine. But eventually, they started falling into bad patterns, and Mai, despite her background, was becoming restless and impatient with him. He loved her, he really did, and knew she loved him, but there was something missing, something wrong, and for the life of him, he had always thought he had had it figured out, that Mai and him were _forever_.

But people change. He was changing. So was she. And when she asked that they divorced, that she move on and find her own way, alone and without just being "Fire Lord Zuko's wife", he was hurt, but he agreed. She wasn't happy, and it was true: her identity was blurred, and she needed to reassert it. Some time away would be best. And she was always welcome in the Palace, no matter what.

That had been two years ago. Mai was always a devout writer when it came to letters, and two years away had done nothing to cease this. It was enough to learn that she was happy alone, roaming the world, shaking free of politics and nobility, and being, above all, a woman of her own name.

It hurt still, but it was getting better with time. And he wasn't alone.

* * *

The Eerie Toph was in the Palace again.

Granted, she had been invited, and it was a very special occasion, so everyone was dressed to the nines and on their best behaviour (even Sokka had shaved a little bit before showing up, although his attempt at a beard was laughable). It was five years to the day that Zuko and Aang had declared peace in the world, and it was a joyous reunion if anything. Everyone that Zuko had met on his journey was invited, and Aang also added to the list of people to show up. This resulted in a strange cocktail of average merchants to high and mighty nobles. It was awkward at first, but eventually everyone seemed to find a stride they enjoyed, and it got better.

Eerie Toph was only eerie when she was surrounded by nobles, which was, given her name, often. Despite the fact that she had avoided her home for the better part of five years, people were still eager to learn the gossip from her home estate. Zuko found this rich; after all, five years ago these same nobles didn't even know she had existed.

He was seated at the head of the table, alone. Normally lack of a warm body beside him filled him with longing and melancholy, but the atmosphere was too jovial to pine on it.

For starters, Aang was having too much fun showing off his bending to anyone who would watch. Katara had told Zuko privately a few years ago that Aang tended to do this whenever he felt overwhelmed or desperate for acceptance. Watching his dear friend dancing around the table and acting pretty much like a demented turtle-duck forced him to agree with this. But then Katara would know; she was, after all, his wife.

And then there was Suki and Sokka, who were in their own little bubble of arguing, unaware that their section of the room was absolutely smitten by how they fought. While Suki was, without her Kyoshi make-up, average at best, Sokka was - in both Water Tribe and outside of it - a rather attractive male. When the courts of the Fire Nation had met the two, there was much speculation about them, mostly having to do with Sokka's fidelity and Suki's less-than-stellar looks. However, as the couple began to visit more and more, it was agreed that it didn't matter: they were too much fun to watch for any of it to matter.

For starters, it was about Sokka's "beard": Sokka defended it as his right to be a man and have a warm face, and Suki thought it made him look like he had burrs stuck to his face. It was a harshly-worded and very scathing argument, but you would hardly know it just by watching them: Both wore smiles on their faces and were leaning in close to eachother, despite the insults that flew from between their lips. Suki's eyes were narrowed, but Sokka's were wide and flashing. Their voices varied from silky to snarky, but it didn't make it any less fun to watch. And it was fun. Even for Zuko, who was used to it.

What none of these people saw was that despite the arguing, there was still a deeper love in the words, a sense of amusement laced in the tone of voice. It was a real fight, but it was also a game. It was verbal sparring. Their relationship was really just one ongoing spar, and it was what made them both so compatible.

And then, there was Toph.

She stood surrounded by a sea of nobles, her face a perfect mask of sincerity in reply to whatever it was that was being said. Although from this angle, Zuko could barely see her - her height had only increased a bit over the years - he knew that she looked just as fake as the ones surrounding her. It was rather nauseating to watch, really, these people who were so eager for gossip and information about Toph's family. What they didn't seem to realise was that she hadn't seen her family in over five years, and it was less than that amount that the world had known she had even _existed_. Almost ironic, really.

Her hair, now incredibly short (thanks to her own ill-fated idea of trying to style her hair, only to get it so tangled that Katara had to cut it all off - a blessing, since now she preferred it that way), was styled flat to her head and dressed with a very pretty hairband. She wore long, pretty robes and had her face done in perfect, pretty make-up. It would have been fine to see her that way if it wasn't for the fact that she was absolutely fake in addition to it.

Zuko realised that he wished the nobles would get lost, just so that the real Toph, the one with dirty feet and a dirtier mouth, with flyaway hair sticking up around her head and a finger up her nose or in her ear, would come back. He wondered idly why she even _bothered_ , after all of these years. Didn't anyone really realise who she was? Why did she bother keeping up the charade?

It bothered him. It made him moody. And it marred what should have been a fun evening for him.

An elbow nudged him in the ribs, and he tore his eyes away to find his uncle at his side, holding out a cup of delicious-smelling tea. He took it wordlessly, smelling it deeply without drinking any of it.

"I would hate to be nosy, nephew, but-" Iroh began, sitting down at his side.

Zuko blurted it out before he had gotten comfortable. "Toph is acting fake again."

Iroh raised his eyebrows, then looked into his own cup of tea. "Indeed," he agreed.

Zuko narrowed his eyes, glaring into the teacup and aiming his glare at the dredges at the bottom. "I hate it."

"Oh? And why do you hate it, Zuko?" Iroh wondered, his voice almost _too_ casual.

"Because it's _fake_. And it's not the _real_ her." He sighed and took a sip, savouring the nice flavour before going on. "I'm just moody. Forgive me."

"You are prone to moodiness, Zuko, and it's not something I would change in you," his uncle replied with a smile, which made him wrinkle his nose. "However, this is a day of celebration. You should relax, and not let things bother you so much. She is a woman now, after all, and she can make her own choices. If she chooses to be a noble, there is nothing you can do to change that."

Zuko looked up, at Toph, for just a moment, before looking back down. He was silent.

* * *

Toph was having a blast.

While her mouth went on autopilot, supplying courtesies and verbal fodder she had known all of her life, her mind was as sharp as ever and was picking up on the most subtle of nuances involving the people around her.

The mayor of one of the cities outside the capitol was drinking again. His breath reeked, and his heart staggered a little.

One of the women from the highest ring in Ba Sing Se was having an affair. She smelt like two different men.

Another woman's breathing was laboured: she was in digestive pain but was too eager for gossip to see to such a simple necessity.

And that was only a grain of it all.

It made her laugh inside, really. Sure, she had to get dressed up and wear make-up and whatever, and she had to pretend to be someone she wasn't and would rather die than become, but the pay-off was way too much fun to fret about it for too long.

It was only when the babbles around her stuttered to a halt and she sensed a very familiar heartbeat that her mask slipped a little and she had to bite back a crass comment.

"Can I have a word with you?" Zuko's voice was annoyed, and his heartbeat was quick. She had to struggle not to roll her eyes, but she nodded, giving her formal regards and following him outside of the banquet hall.

Once her feet touched new ground and it was only them, she reached up and dug a finger in her ear, groaning in relief: she had had a severely wretched itch in that ear for over an hour.

Zuko sighed, and she stopped, for only a second, before continuing, now just enjoying the feel of her finger in her ear. "What's up, Zuko?" she wondered, her voice a little distracted. "Someone try to make you laugh tonight and it pissed you off?"

Zuko made a face, although of course she couldn't see it. She must have sensed something, because she laughed, her familiar - although deeper - unabashed laugh. "Just spill it, will you? Sometimes you're such a chick when it comes to things like this. Lemme guess..." And here she held her hands out in front of her, a wry grin on her face. "I should already know what I did, right? So you're not gonna tell me?"

"How can you just stand there making fun of _me_ when _you_ were the one who was a complete caricature of yourself in there?" he snapped. "How can you stand it, just standing there with those...those _idiots_ , and not want to reach out and smack them all?"

Toph tilted her head to one side, her unfocused eyes blinking slowly. "It's funny, that's why," she replied. "Sounds to me like someone is projecting."

Zuko blinked, his mouth open. When he spoke, his voice was a little too high for his liking. "I'm _not_ projecting!" he protested. "You asked me if I was pissed off, and I am! At _you_!"

Toph waved her hands in the air, her face full of mockery. "Ooo, the Fire Lord is mad at me! I'm in trouble now!"

"Toph-!"

"Zuko," her voice was sharp, and it stopped him. "Relax, okay? It's funny - these people have nothing better to do than to suck up to other nobles." She smiled, and while it was real, he could see that it was also bittersweet. "They tell me the stupidest shit, without even realising that, given the chance, I would totally use it against them."

Zuko sighed, putting his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "If you're going to be here alot, you should at least act like yourself," he protested. "People should know the real you."

"Wouldn't that embarrass you?"

He jerked his head up, eyes wide. Her face was solemn and serious. "Wouldn't it? I mean, come on; I'm not exactly the poster-child for orthodox noble, here."

Zuko barked out a laugh, one that made her jump. He threw out his hands. "And you think I am? I may have the background, but I have no idea what the hell I'm doing! I haven't had any idea for five years! And now I see you acting like a...whatever those things that the Mechanist makes, those things made of gears..."

"Automaton," Toph muttered.

" _Yes_ , one of those, and I just feel like, _everyone else knows what they're doing except me, and shouldn't I, out of us all, know?_ "

Toph leaned against the wall behind her, her arms crossed. "You _do_ know," she answered, making him freeze. "You do. You're maintaining the peace, and you're doing a damned good job. You know what else it is that I hear when I'm sucking up to those morons? I'm hearing about what a great job you're doing, even though the first year and a half was a little stumbling." She smiled. "Stop being such a baby, Fuss Lord. You're doing fine."

Zuko stared, utterly speechless. It was so insightful, and so utterly the thing he needed to hear, and yet...it was coming from _Toph_ , as unlikely a source as anyone.

Toph smirked. She held out her elbow. "Come on," she commanded. "If we leave Twinkletoes alone for too long, the entire room is going to be blown away."

Feeling something warm bloom deep within his chest - almost like he had felt before Mai left - he smiled, looping his arm through hers.

"Escort me, Fire Lord Zuko," she finished, her voice clipped once more. "I do need help around, after all. I _am_ blind."

He chuckled, and did so, thinking, _She's the least blind person I've ever met..._


	2. That Strange Familiarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's Note: Unexpectedly I found myself with a plotbunny for this story several weeks ago, and while I tried to ignore it, telling myself that this was meant to be a stand-alone, the idea wouldn't go away. So here it is, written out. I have no idea where it's going or how long it will be, and I have no idea why it wanted to be written. I'm a dumb writer =D.

_"Dear Zuko,_

 _Sorry, but I refuse to address you by your title. I've known you since you were shorter than me - I think it's fair to leave it out. Your advisers can take issue with me if they want. I won't care._

 _The Earth Kingdom is weird. The food is boring, but the people are entertaining. I would have thought that traveling amongst average people would repulse me, and I guess initially it did, as you well know, but now that I've had several years to get used to it, I honestly can't imagine anything else. While Azula found it disgusting and Ty Lee found it a game, I find travel a sort of adventure. It has yet to lose its novelty._

 _I know you said use a fake name, but if I want to use my chop to get room and board, that doesn't really make sense, does it? There's no way I can work for a living yet - I only know martial arts, and you can't use that to take care of a farm or help in a store. And I know you're giving this letter a look of frustrated dismay, to which I reply with a rolling of my eyes and a snort._

 _Maybe I'll settle down some day. But if I haven't done it yet, I wonder if I ever will._

 _Write me back if you want. This hawk knows my scent._

 _Mai."_

Zuko sighed, leaning back and setting the letter down into his lap. With one hand, he massaged the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes. With the other, he held the piece of weather-worn paper loosely. The silence that hung in the air of his personal apartments was heavy and foreboding.

He hadn't heard from Mai in a while, and it was nice to know she was still getting along, despite the risk in traveling alone. Now that Zuko knew she wasn't using a pseudonym, he felt even worse; who knew what her name and looks could bring? People were still resentful of the Fire Nation even now - five years had done little to cool their tempers. If something went wrong and Mai was in the wrong place at the wrong time, she could pay for it.

But then, Zuko also knew how well she could take care of herself. He grunted, squeezing his eyes tighter. Maybe it was just guilt. He felt guilty for not being enough. He felt guilty for letting the marriage slip through his fingers.

 _And yet..._ He opened his eyes and skimmed the letter again. _She's happy. She's really happy._

Happier than she had been dressed in silk and speaking political double-talk. Perhaps that was also to be expected, really - Mai had spent her life running away from politics. Though her love for Zuko had been great, he wondered if her joy and hope in his own political career had only been for his benefit and not her own.

 _She had smothered that part of herself for years, lived a life she hated for years, all for me._

It was no wonder he felt guilty.

_  


* * *

  
_

Toph was making short work of the stack of deep-fried dough fritters placed before her. She was starving, and at that point it probably didn't matter what food had been placed in front of her, as long as it was digestible. Once the plate was empty, only then did she reach for the mug of steaming tea.

"You see, you do it all wrong," Iroh chided her, sounding scandalised. Toph grinned. "Not only do you rush through your food, but you gulp your tea instead of sipping it."

"It's lukewarm. I don't need to sip."

"You sip to savour the taste!"

"I can taste it fine."

Silence met her words, and she laughed loudly, unable to suppress it. Spending time with Iroh in his teashop was one of her favourite things to do, and she made sure to do it as much as possible for the company - although the free food and tea didn't hurt, either.

"Fine, fine." And here she made a great show of smelling, breathing in, and sipping the half-empty cup of tepid tea in front of her. Iroh huffed and grabbed it, and from the sounds of it was getting up to refill it, muttering something about, "It is pointless if the tea isn't even hot," which made her laugh even more.

Cupping her chin in her hand, she listened to the sounds around her, a toe tapping the cool floor beneath her as she read the vibrations brought up from the gesture. The teashop was only half-full, and the patrons were either elderly or close to it. While Iroh had made the rounds earlier, he spent most of his time at Toph's table, considering her the guest of honour and allowing the other waitstaff to help the others. It was flattering, and it was nice.

When he came back, she realised that he had two mugs. She grinned, sitting up straight. "Going to join me?"

"Perhaps," was the offhand answer. "Or perhaps I merely seek to educate you."

Toph's grin widened. With careful fluidity, she swept up the long sleeve of one arm with her other hand, holding it delicately and smoothly. With her now-bared arm and hand, she gripped the mug with a precise hold, her fingertips barely grazing over the mug's porcelain. She brought the cup to her lips, pressing it right between them, but without taking a sip. She shut her eyes and breathed in though her mouth first, taking in the cloying aroma of ginseng, tasting the minute flavour within the steam. Then, she exhaled slowly and closed her mouth, breathing in again through her nose slowly. The scent of the tea seemed to intensify, and she could practically taste it upon her tongue, before exhaling, she wet her lips with the hot liquid and licked them with the very tip of her tongue.

"My, General Iroh," she said, lowering the mug back on the table and placing a hand to her cheek. "Your tea is simply _delightful_! You _must_ have your servants give my servants the recipe!"

The response was instant, and delightful. Iroh's laugh exploded from him light a great wave, and she could feel it as well as hear it. She laughed, too, her own guffaw, unable to keep it banked despite the act.

Once the laughs died down and the tears were wiped away, Iroh said, "So what brings you to the shop today?"

"What doesn't? You left the Fire Nation to check up on it, so I followed you." Toph said it plainly because she meant it. "When you go back in a few days I'm going to follow you."

A brief pause. Then, Iroh said in a softer voice, "Why are you following me, Toph? It is not like you to plan around other people."

 _Shit_. Toph bit her lip, then bluffed by grabbing her mug and gulping the tea. She had hoped it would distract Iroh enough to move off of the topic, but it brought nothing from him, not even when the mug was empty. With a scowl, she slammed the mug down and snapped out, "Can't I just do what I want and not have to be questioned for it?"

To his credit, Iroh took it calmly. Toph wondered why he took her shouting with such quiet tranquility, then realised - with a funny little jolt - that he had probably grown used to it when he had traveled alone with Zuko all of those years ago.

The silence stretched between them. Clearly Iroh was waiting her out, and she refused to rise to the bait. It was rare that the two ended at a stalemate like this, but it did happen, and it usually lasted a long time until someone - usually Toph - caved and spoke up.

But not this time. Toph didn't know why, but it felt important that she didn't speak. For some reason, she was afraid of what she might say if she did, as if she wouldn't have control over what came out of her mouth.

Iroh sighed, the sound gusty and deep from his chest. Toph crossed her arms over her chest, clamping her mouth shut, and finally he spoke. "Very well then. Have you visited your parents lately?"

Still dangerous ground, but not as dangerous as the previous patch. She scowled at him. "You know I haven't."

"And why is that?"

Toph growled, hoping to scare him from the topic, despite knowing it was fruitless. "Because I hate them! I haven't seen them in five years and I won't see them for another five. Can we move on?"

"You don't hate them," was the frustrating reply. "You just don't want to become them."

That was the last nerve touched. She adored Iroh and found glory in spending time with him, but when he started pushing her about personal things, it usually went too far and too deep. She stood up hurriedly and stormed out of the teashop without hesitation. Iroh didn't call her back, and she would have ignored him if he had.

  


* * *

  


Zuko was still brooding over Mai's letter when a servant came by with a rolled-up summons. When he inquired who it was from, the servant made a helpless face and shrugged, admitting that she had no idea but that it had come by hawk a few minutes ago.

Bemused, Zuko unrolled it... and stared. What was written before him were masses of scribbles, unreadable and unlike any shadow of writing he had ever known. No matter how hard he squinted, he couldn't even detect a hint of a character, not even a wisp.

He had no idea what he was supposed to take from it, whether it was a threat in code or whether it was some kind of drawing that Sokka just forgot to sign. On the latter, he squinted close, since sometimes Sokka's drawings were viewable if he looked hard enough, but when his eyes started to water and he still had no clue, he gave up. With a growl, he tossed the letter onto the floor and sat back down on the couch, his hand on Mai's letter. He didn't pick it up, but he didn't ignore it, either. He just leaned his head back and closed his eyes, trying not to think at all.

  


* * *

  


A few days later, Toph camped out on the outskirts of the Fire Nation capitol, sitting before a warm but small fire and chewing on a piece of jerky that she had filched from Sokka the last time she'd seen him. She'd actually been there since morning, but the trip over the water on one of the ships made her so sick that she had spent the morning and most of the afternoon losing her lunch and sleeping it off. She still didn't have her sea legs, and probably never would.

As she poked the fire, she wondered if Zuko had received her letter okay. She hadn't had time to pay a courier to transcribe a message, so she just grabbed a brush and a paper and made one herself. She had some faint idea of how characters were supposed to look, since she had in the past touched several stone tablets with raised words on them, but she didn't remember much of that and so she just scribbled as much as she could before sending it away. She hoped that Zuko was smart enough to get it. If not, well, scaring him was always hilarious, anyway.

She wasn't quite sure why she was back in the Fire Nation. She usually had the excuse of stalking Iroh around the world as cover for wherever she went, but this time she had left him behind. The thing was, she liked the place. She liked the different pitch that the song of the earth beneath her feet seemed to have, and she liked the people and the crazy food. Most of all, she liked Zuko, and liked being able to cheer him up, since he had been in a sort of funk since Mai had left and he'd had to divorce her.

She thought about that, tearing a piece of jerky off and chewing it slowly. In the years she had gotten to know Mai, she had sensed an inherent restlessness in the older girl. The love she'd had for Zuko was real, but the unease and the strain were also just as real. Sensing a kind of kindred spirit, she and Mai had talked many times alone before, sharing their similar pasts and bonding over it. In fact, it was to Toph that Mai first admitted her intentions of leaving.

"I'm just so tired," Mai had said suddenly one day, her voice weary and low. Toph froze, sensing a deeper tone in those words, and realised with a start that Mai was _exhausted_. "Everything I do, everything I am... I feel like all I'm doing is lying. I want to be there for Zuko, so much," and here Toph heard a wistfulness in Mai's voice, a sad tone that betrayed a deeper pain and love, "and I want what's best for him, but... I don't think..."

The pause was long, and when Mai spoke again, her voice was choked and barely a whisper. "I don't think he's best for _me_."

Toph pondered that now, ripping off another chunk of jerky. She remembered feeling so sad for Mai, wanting to make it better for her friend, but at the same time, she also knew, somehow, that she was probably right. She hadn't heard Mai laugh in a long time then, and realised that the jovial teasing that the other girl had gloried in was also absent. In trying to remain the perfect wife for Zuko, always being their and being his pillar, she had ended up doing so at the expense of herself. It was no small wonder that she felt she had to leave.

Toph missed her all the same. She wasn't lucky enough to get letters from Mai. She wondered how her friend was doing, and resolved to ask Zuko once she arrived in the Palace.

 


End file.
